Mediators

Can refer to where and with whom a child lives, or where a child lives and the rights and responsibilities of a parent regarding the child in his or her care. Generally means the time children spend with the parent they do not usually live with. However, access is not limited to the parent who does not have custody — any person can apply for access to a child (including grandparents, aunts and uncles, and other relatives).

A mediator is a person who is specially trained to help people resolve conflict. Unlike a judge, a mediator does not impose solutions on people, but helps them to find their own solutions to their problems.

Some, but not all, mediators are also lawyers. Whether or not the mediator in a family case is a lawyer, he or she should have special training about family dynamics and family law issues. Before hiring a mediator, ask about his or her training and qualifications.

Private mediators charge for their services, but if you can resolve your issues using mediation, it is generally much less expensive than going to court. Family justice counsellors offer free mediation services to people with low incomes in certain cases. For more information, see our Who can help page about family justice counsellors.

You can find mediators in several different places. The BC Mediator Roster Society website contains a list of qualified family mediators. Their website also contains more information about mediation and how it works.

Note: The society is also currently running a pilot project that offers free family law mediation (of up to six hours) if at least one of the parties lives in a town with a population of under 10,000. This pilot project is expected to run until January 15, 2010. See Free Family Mediation Services now available from the Distance Mediation Project for more information.

The Family Mediation Canada website also contains information about qualified family mediators. Or contact a community organization, your local legal aid office, family justice counsellor, or the Lawyer Referral Service for more information. Private mediation services are listed in the yellow pages under "Mediators."

In most cases, mediation is voluntary. That is, both you and the other party have to agree to participate in the mediation.

However, if your case is in Supreme Court and you are interested in trying mediation, but your spouse is reluctant, and you live in Vancouver, Victoria, Nanaimo, Duncan or New Westminster, you can complete a form called a Notice to Mediate and have it served on him or her to make the mediation session mandatory. (See also our self-help guide on serving documents for how to serve the document.)

For more information on what mediators do, see the Ministry of Attorney General's Family Justice website, the Guide to Mediation in BC, and the Family Mediation Practicum Project. Or watch a video clip excerpted from the Continuing Legal Education Society video, An Inside Look at Family Mediation.

Note: Mediation works best when there is equality and respect between the parties and a willingness to resolve matters in a way that is fair to everyone. Mediation often does not work if there has been a history of abuse or ill-treatment between the two parties.